Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
