my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
