Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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