I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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