lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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