I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
