You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
