and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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