i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
