you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
