And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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