Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
