oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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