Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
