You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
