Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
