It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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