i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
FUCK WHALES
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
