So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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