my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
