Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
