Who wears a wallet chain?!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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