I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
