How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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