That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
