You smell like stripper and shame
well you can't waste a boner
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
