stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
