Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
