who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Randomize
