.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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