Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
