Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
