I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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