She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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