Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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