Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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