grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
