my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
