yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
