C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
