So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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