Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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