So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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