where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
