Welp...herpes.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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