those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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