Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
