i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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