Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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