I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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