I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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