New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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