i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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