Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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