he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
