yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
