I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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