i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize