none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
