Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
