3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
