the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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