I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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