Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
