This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
