Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize