Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize