I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
