He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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