If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
