why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize