he was CRYING into my vagina
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
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I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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